It’s been a while since I have put my rambling thoughts to paper. I’ve been busy at work and training for the Sea to Sea Cycle (C2C). And once again, during training, Mr Bump has broken himself! Another year of trying to get up that hill and another failure. But, is it really a failure? Yes and no!

I can look at myself in the mirror and say, “I have tried my hardest, but I just can’t quite do it”. It’s not a failure, it’s a valiant, fighting defeat. I will not have the fitness for the full three-day ride so instead I will concentrate on the hill climb and train for that. That’s if my wife lets me… I haven’t told her that bit yet.

Life is all about goals, choices and decisions. I’ve said this before, but I do not have regrets. I live with the decisions I have made in life, even the stupid ones. With your health in mind, you may be thinking should I have a pizza or should I have a salad instead. We make simple and complex decisions every day. Sometimes we are conscious about them, sometimes we aren’t. We just make them.

I’ve set myself a goal and decided to ride my bike. But I need to consider if I really need to do this. How is this affecting me and family? Is it sensible given my past accident? My mind keeps telling me “Yes, do it!”, but I know I need to think of others and the anxiety they go through when I am alone on my bike miles from anyone.

It’s probably time to find something else that I enjoy. But what will give me the same buzz as cycling? Cycling makes me happy – the buzz of getting to the top of the hill, breaking the record of my commute to work, shooting down a hill, or just simply trundling along at a slow pace and loving the time to myself.

Do I set another goal or do I just give it up ,sell my bike and take the wife out for a meal and loads of drinks? I know what the sensible option is, as do most of you no doubt, but I have never been very sensible. I’ve come this far and I need to see it through to the end.

It is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all. I know I have tried I can live with it, I can live with the failure this time as I know in my heart I gave it one hell of a go.

I truly didn’t know this time what I was going to put down in this month’s submissions, as I never plan but I normally have an idea. This one was just me trying to figure out what to do next and I’m still not sure, it’s a head over heart situation.

Thanks to Rich for sharing his experiences. To find out more about his story and to make a donation to us, visit hisJust Giving fundraising page. If his journey has inspired you to support us, visit our fundraising page for more infoor if you’d like to share your story, contact us at communications@thebiglifegroup.com

If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, the Sanctuary is here for you at night, every night. Call us on 0300 003 7029.